I'm going to do this.

I stumbled across a site,, that for each day of the month of December, you're given a prompt of something to reflect on in the year past, and I believe the year to come.  The tag line for the site is "reflect on this year & manifest what's next".  And I totally groove with that.  So, IT'S ON.  Get ready for a rock-rollin good time of me musing about the year behind and the year ahead.

I really appreciated why the woman started this last year.  Her mom died on November 30th when she was in sixth grade, so every year since then, the holidays have been a sad time.  Understandably.  But last year, she decided to change that.  She decided to make it a celebration.

And I'm down with that.

It made me think of how I always get so stressed out and worked up around the holidays, and how I've totally lost touch with how fun it used to be as a child.  This is the end of the year, a time of celebrating those that are in our lives that we love, and all the wonderful gifts we have been given in the past year, as well as to reflect on how wonderful we want the next year to be.

Yes, I think I could do with an attitude change around Christmas.  So let's get this ON.

Prompts from last year include reflecting on great trips, books, articles, and challenges from the past year.  My personal favorite is What was your epiphany for the year?  I hope that shows up again.  Though I'm not really hot on the "what ad made you think this year".  Blah.

But 2010 has been an amazing year, and I knew it would be.  Last December, I could feel something was shifting, and my New Years Eve party was a great omen for the coming year, and a great way to bring it on in.

This year I've begun to totally change my life.  I've changed my eating habits.  I've lost 30 pounds.  I've quit my job.  I've planned my business.  I've changed my attitude.  And I'm ready to begin.

Here's to 2011, a year of blossoms from the seeds that I've planted and sewn in 2010.

I managed to survive the Christmas insanity, which is truly a miracle.  Because this Christmas was even more insane than usual, which actually made it more sane, in a way.  At least for me.  Because I'm insane and thrive on insanity.

I could go into the whole story of how it took me 5 days to get to my mom's house (Seattle to Portland), with an alcoholic train ride, two days crashing at degroovy friends' house, and having to drag my mega-gift-filled-suitcase many blocks in deep snow.  But I won't. 

Or, I could talk about how I became the workhorse for my family, shoveling snow, cleaning, cooking, decorating, dragging the fake tree plus two gargantuan gifts through aforementioned snow down to mom's place,  and shoveling more snow around my mom's car.  But I won't.

Instead I will talk about what the season is REALLY all about.  The Goods.

Typically every year I freak out.  I mean I really have a meltdown.  I wait until the last minute before I buy gifts, and totally stress if I spent enough money on everyone, if I forgot something, if someone isn't going to even like their gift, and lament how poor I know am because of all the money I shoveled out to make other people happy. 

My parents and brother then spend exorbitant amounts of money on me, buying me some lovely gifts, and other gifts that I look at and go, crap, why did they buy me this??  What am I supposed to do with it?  And then I stress out because I feel I can't get rid of it, or stress because I have to deal with the hassle of getting rid of it.

But this year, dear reader, was different.  Partly due to some crazy spirit that hit me the day after Thanksgiving to buy everything up front (then saving me from all the last minute stress).  Partly due to mom's pending retirement, and her cutting back on buying random gifts.

Sidenote:  I think my favorite quote of the season was Mom saying "I saw stuff and then I thought about getting it for you, but then I thought, she's just going to get rid of it in two years anyway, so I didn't buy it".  SUCCESS! 

Anywho, back to my story.  So, partly due to my timely gift buying, partly due to my mothers restraint, but probably mostly to do with the drama with my brother and new sister-in-law.  THAT is a whole story, which I will not get into here (too long, plus I don't think posting family laundry on line is the healthies thing for the family relationships).  In any case, my new sister-in-law gets overwhelmed by the amount of gifts we get each other, and it was brought up by my brother in a socially-inept e-mail sent to the family as a directive in November, which then caused a huge blow out, of which we have yet to recover, though we are progressing.

The result:  A modest Christmas.  It was interesting, because I, the baby of the family, who usually gets inundated with gifts, had less to open than others did.  I began to feel resentful, where are MY gifts? 

And then I realized, what the hell are you complaining about?  Isn't this what you always complain about - getting too many gifts?

Oh yeah.  OH YEAH!  Yes!  I don't have a lot of crap to haul home.  It ACTUALLY fit in my suitcase!  Amazing!  I don't have a lot of gifts that stress me out, because what am I supposed to do with them (well, there is one, a gift card from a store that is SO NOT ME, I wonder if I got regifted).

And then, for all the stress of getting things for friends and coworkers, I found I didn't get as much back.  And I thought, why do I worry about getting things for everyone, just so they won't be offended?  Why do I spend my money, when the only result is the other person feels awkward for not getting me something, or that they should have given me something, or something.  Something.

I really need to put this whole kick I'm on of reducing consumption, and becoming more minimalist, to work at Christmas time.  My favorite gifts to give were two cross stitch pieces I made with dirty language on them ("Shut Your Whore Mouth" and "Don't Make Me Cut You" - thanks subversive crossstitch!).  So perhaps I should just get crafty next year.  Or take people out for a drink.  Or something, something that doesn't come in a bag with a receipt.

Don't let me buy a whole bunch of crap next year, will you?